Two by Joseph Goosey

A CAKED UP CORPSE DOUSED IN PEARLS

You eat oysters don't you?
Where do you shove them?
Into your ears?
What are you? An elf?
I wanted to marry an elf once
but she hacked off
my left foot and fed it
to the nearest
pond.

#

A HARDLY COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF IDEAS FOR SHORT STORIES WHICH I LACK THE CAPACITY TO CREATE

1. Boy eats too many sleeping pills, is sent to mental ward of a Tampa
hospital where he befriends a man who cannot control his bowels. They
play checkers.

2. Low level employee at Hershey's Inc. falls into vat of chocolate.
He is killed instantly by a propeller that is used to smooth the
chocolate. This inspires a rash of employees to realize their own
desire for expiration and jump into the vat. Some of them are not
killed instantly by the propeller.

3. Deformed man picks up a deaf girl at a bar. Realizes he can say
extremely foul shit to deaf girls during sex. The sex talk evolves
into lengthy monologues regarding his fear of emotional and physical
abandonment.

4. Man who cannot control his bladder meets the same man from story #1 who cannot control his bowels at a bus stop. They play checkers.