She's Not Much For Small Talk by Catfish McDaris

"I haven't had any
in 5 years. I go home
every night & make
love to my hand"

He told me this
while riding
the elevator

A woman we knew
slightly got on,
she looked at my
pal & said, "Damn,
you're going to need
a bra soon"

I tried not
to laugh

Every Tuesday, we'd
drink beer & watch
Sheriff Lobo

Tuesday came,
he opened the door
a crack, "Hey, man,
I've got a date"

I thought
that's cool

Before he closed the
door I noticed a box,
bicycle pump, wig &
lipstick

All for his dipstick.